Life without Andy
by ayebabe
Summary: Feelings and updates of those that were known by Andy Jackson. "Tears of a Tiger". *Excluding the next two books in the series.* I made all this stuff up with IMAGINATION.
1. Tyrone

Tears of a Tiger; Life without Andy

Profile: Tyrone

I wasn't expecting it. From what I knew it seemed Andy was getting better. Figures. Shows just how much I knew. I miss Andy. I mean, we all do. But it was always like this, Rob, Andy, me, then B.J. When we lost Rob, it was pretty hard. Not a day went by when I wouldn't wake without thinking of Rob. Now it's Andy and Rob. I guess Andy thought it was his fault for the accident and Rob's death. I see it differently though.

It couldn't be his fault; we were _all _drunk, except B.J. of course. Rob would've never been stuck in the car if he hadn't of had his feet resting on the dashboard. The car would've exploded no matter what. However, his legs jammed through the window pinned him. I forgave myself for what happened, and I forgave Andy, too. But did he forgive himself? Probably not, if he killed himself.

I wonder how his little brother feels about this. It must be awfully hard on the little guy. I would'nt blame him either. I still don't understand how Andy could hurt all of us and do that to himself.

When the police came over to ask about Andy, I hadn't even heard the news yet. I remember one of the police officers saying: " Son, we are afraid to inform that Andrew Jackson has commited suicide. We understand you were involved in the car crash on November 7th. We'd like to ask you a few questions."

Just like that. My jaw literally dropped, and I couldn't help it. I burst into tears. My family was sympathetic, but the police meant business. I told them the same story I had told the original police that had been sent down to obtain information about the crash the day after. I keep thinking to myself: _why didn't he say something? I could've helped him. _

The case was this: Andy became depressed about what had happened to Rob and blamed himself. Eventually he just couldn't take it anymore. What the police told us was this: he'd put a gun to his head.

I can't imagine Andy doing that. Not Andy that I admired for being one of the best basketball players on our team (second to Rob). Not Andy that I'd known so well. It wasn't him.

But it was him. His death. His funeral. Him in the newspaper. I forgive him constantly though. I always will. Afterall, he had been driving the car, but God intended for whatever to come to happen... I hope God forgives Andy too. I loved him...

Speaking of which, things between me and Rhonda have heated up. The news about Andy shook us both, but it made us stronger. Our relationship is going great. We go steady now. Everyday I think of her.

I remember the first time we kissed. Boy, that girl is something special. And you know what? I think I love her.

Since it's only me and B.J. left, we've become pretty tight. We only have each other. People try to help, but only B.J. really understands how I feel because he went through it himself. We've got to be strong for Andy. And Rob.

Andy, if you're up there listening, I want you to know this. You don't have to be sorry for what you've done. I know now you were going through a hard time. I forgive you. We all do, me, Rhonda, B.J., and Keisha. Just so you know, I love you man. I hope you're where you need to be.


	2. BJ

Life without Andy

Profile: B.J.

Andy, Rob, Andy, Rob. Who's next? I hope Tyrone doesn't kill himself next. Or me. All these people dying so suddenly is really starting to disturb me. But I know I have You to talk to God. I've been trying to clear this mental block of cofusion in my head. I'm trying to comprehend why Andy would do this to himself. If he was so upset about Rob's death, then why would he cause his own?

I hope I recieve the answers to my questions. And another thing. I have to thank You. You remembered when I asked You for a nice girl (particularly short like me) and You didn't let me down. You sent the new girl to school just for me, didn't You? Mina is beautiful and the most amazing thing about her is this: she actually likes me. Of all people, it's me.

I'm going to take her out this afternoon. Her friend had told me she liked me, and I finally got the nerve to ask her if she wanted to go out for ice cream this afternoon. I was suprised when she said yes, but then again ,she likes me (I'm still trying to understand why. I'll ask her today). I feel like the luckiest man on earth to be going out with a girl like Mina. I hope she's strong in her faith about You, too.

Mina and Tyrone are the only people I feel like being around. When the epidemic started about Rob, people flocked to me and bugged me with endless questions and tried to be sympathetic. But nobody knows the pain I truely feel but You and Tyrone. Tyrone feels the same way about this awful situation.

He's also been telling me that he's really falling for Rhonda. I wonder what it's like to be in love. Tyrone says it's better than winning the basketball championship at state. If that's true, then it must be pretty darn amazing.

Mom and Dad are being really nice to me now since I've lost two of my best buds at school. They're usaully strict on me, but they let me slide with a couple of things lately. I just pray that Andy is with Rob and You. I know he didn't know any better, and more than likely, what happened in that room that day was a mistake. A terrible, horrible, mistake that cost him his life.

I'd spent more time with you, but I've got to get ready for my big date and I'm trying not to get too upset about Andy before I pick up Mina. I hope you understand. Oh- and thank You for all you've done for me.

Amen.


	3. Gerald

Life without Andy

Profile: Gerald

It finally happened. I'm in foster care. I knew it was coming soon. Someone was bound to notice the bruises, welts, and cuts. It got real bad one afternoon. I had stayed out extremely late and when I finally returned home, my stepfather didn't even bother to ask where I had been. I could tell he wasn't sober, his eyes were red and he smelled awful.

He must've been completely drunk. He just started beating me with his fists and throwing things at my like the fire poker and the lamp. The neighbors heard the noise and alerted the police. By the time the police did arrive I beaten to a bloody pulp. The worst part is, everyone on town knew now. I couldn't live with that kind of shame. That's why I'm kind of glad I'm here away from my stepfather and the ridiculing kids at school.

If I'm lucky, I'll only be in this boys home for a month, at least that's what they say. My case manager and DCF (Department of Children and Families) are doing their best. When they tried to locate Mama, they actually found her. She's in San Francisco, California. They contacted her and ask if she'd like to take me in. Her answer was a joyous one: "Yes!"

Who knows? I wonder what she looks like. It's been ages since I've seen her last. Maybe I'll enjoy peanut butter sandwiches again. Only she could make them.

I'll be honest, I never blamed her for leaving. My stepfather is such an abusive brute, the best thing for her was to leave. I'm not sure why she didn't take me with her. I hope she can tell me when she comes to pick me up next week. I miss her so much that I forgive her already.

I've made a commitment to myself. I will never be my stepfather. That means I'll never be abusive and I'll never drink. You live and learn. Trust me, I learned that the hard way.

There's one more thing. I had heard about Andy just before I left. I felt really awful inside. First it was Rob, then him. I just hope he ends up on the good side. It really hurt to hear about him. That was the reason I had been out so late, I just wanted to go to school and talk to the guidance counselor. There was no way I was going to talk to my stepfather about something like that.

He'd probably just tell me to suck it up and shut up so he could drink his beer in peace. That's okay. I don't think they allow alcohol in prison. When the police had discovered it was my stepfather who was abusing me, he was taken away. Of course I pressed charges. I stand court in two months.

This place isn't the best to be. The other guys in the boys home are filthy and rude. They try to bully me, but they don't scare me. That's another thing I learned about this whole situation. My stepfather was a bully. And no matter what, you can't let them knock you down.

Eventually, because the boys couldn't bother me, they just gave up. I'm satisfied with myself. I also remember Ms. Blackwell and how she always believed I could "do it." I've been getting into writing stories and poetry more often and I've found that I'm actually beginning to like it. I feel like a brand new person.

I can't wait to see Mama and show her the poem I wrote for her. It's simply divine. In a way, Andy made this all possible. If it weren't for stopping by with guidance, I wouldn't have this oppurtunity.


	4. Keisha

Life without Andy

Profile: Keisha

Dear Diary,

it's hard to say I miss Andy. He was my boyfriend, yes. But I just refuse to accept this. They say Andy killed himself. That's... stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why didn't he talk to me? I would've tried to help him. If I had helped him, would that have prevented this? I wish I knew.

I know he's dead. I don't think it was intentionally. He was just confused and hurt and... alot of things that I didn't notice. I should have realized the signs flashing on and off. When Andy had asked me if I thought Robbie was cold, it was weird enough. That should have set off an alarm.

But it didn't, and now here I am, feeling sorry for myself. I didn't notice that Andy was having serious issues because it was getting on my nerves. When he would be happy one minute, sad the next, and mad in between, I just couldn't handle it! It was too much!

At least I know I tried to help him. Maybe telling him that he had to accept Robbie's death sent him over the edge. Or maybe he was already headed for that. Whichever, I now know it's too late to stop it.

Diary, I've figured out why I'm so upset about this. I realize that I really did love Andy. I couldn't see it at first, my own pian blinded it. But now I know. And I wonder If Andy loved me too.

One thing is for sure, I will habe to take my own advice. I miss them both, Robbie and Andy, but like Robbie's death, I will have to accept Andy's. It will be hard, but I know that I can do it.

Rhonda has always been my best friend. Through these hard times, she's still proving that. Through thick and thin, we've been together, and that includes this situation. She and Tyrone have a good thing going on, and she wants to be with him too. She still manages to be here for me too however.

I learned through these hard times. I wish Andy were still here, and I probably always will. If he could hear me now, or see this entry; I want him to know it. I love you; and I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me the most.

Oh Diary, I hope he understands.

I feel alot better after having jotted down my feelings. In time I will accept this mishappen, and Andy will be the first boy I've ever come to love.


	5. Rhonda

Life without Andy

Profile: Rhonda

Dear Saundra,

girl let me tell you, things have been getting pretty crazy again. If things are going good for you in California, it's the opposite here. Remember when I told you Robbie had died in a car crash that Andy was driving? Well, I hate to say this but now it's Andy too. I can't believe he did that. He committed suicide. A gun to the head. And you know who found him?

His mom did. When the family had gotten home, Andy's little brother Monty asked," Mommy, why is there blood dripping from the ceiling?" That's when his mom went up only to find his brains splattered against the wall (sorry, it's gory, I know). But it's the truth.

It's just too awful. It ruined most of my month. Me and Keisha have been sticking together. I'll always have to be there for her, like she does for me. She told me to say "Hi" to you. It's been kinda hard on her, she had broke up with Andy right before he did it. And now she thinks she really did love him... I'll pray for her.

Anyway, prom was last weekend. I wore that beautiful dress I told you about, and Tyrone really looked... sexy. He loved my dress and we danced the night away. At the very end, he kissed me nice and slow on the lips. Like the ones you see the actors do in movies. It was so romantic.

I swear to you girl, I'm in_ love _with that boy and he feels the same. I'm so happy.

I can't say Keisha feels the same, but I _do _know this: she's coping better about what happened to Andy. Tyrone misses Andy too. I didn't know him that well, but he was a nice boy. I hope he's going to a better place.

You should really come visit sometime. It would be like old times, when you me and Keisha used to be a clique. Well, I love you. Pray for Keisha and Andy. Especially Andy. You rememebr him?

Love,

Rhonda


	6. Monty

Life without Andy

Profile: Monty

_Hey Andy. I'm back here at the cemetary again. It's never the same as talkin' to you when you're actually here, but this is gonna have to do I guess. Mama doesn't cry as much anymore. She's just really quiet most of the time. She tries to act like she's happy, but I know she's fakin' it. I still miss you, remember I said I always would. Baseball season went well. I had the team win and everythin', but it didn't feel right, 'cause you weren't there. I'm startin' to understand girls a bit better. I mean, that's good for a seven year old. _

_The last time we talked I was six years old. That's how old I was when you left, remember? _

_Daddy is still comin' to see me, but it still don't feel right. It's never gonna be the same since you left. He lives with this new lady, and I don't like her. She tries to be like Mama, but she ain't Mama! _

_I like the new school I go to. Since we moved it was hard to find friends at first, but then I got goin' to school and it was easy. When people ask me if I have any brothers or sisters I just say no. I don't like talkin' much about what you did to yourself. _

_But I'm doin' good as always. My grades are good, and I'm tryin' for basketball. Some older boys taught me how to do lay-ups, but I still would've wanted you to teach me instead._

_I'm gonna make you proud of me one day, 'cause I know you're lookin' down on me. I love you big bro. Oh, and I still got my Teenage Warrior Space Soldier. He remembers you. He says one day you'll be proud of him, too. You'd better believe it. _

_Bye Andy See ya later_


End file.
